Conan the Virginator!

Mother of Mitra! I didn’t realize how late it was getting…

Time to polish off this flagon of ale...hic...there's virgins in distress, and in need of rescuing…

  

And don’t let me forget the lubricant, I’m drunk and...hic...horny, and I’ll wager that they're going to be some appric.. appresh...errr... appreciative!