Swords And Scrolls Challenge!

CROM! readers seem like a very intelligent and witty bunch, and I suspect that many of you (much like myself) have had a burning desire to be an editor for The Savage Sword of Conan, but the opportunity just never presented itself...well here's your chance! I picked a couple of diss-worthy letters from days gone by, and am hoping you can help these poor chaps out...

OK people, Todd and/or Kevin are anxious to read your sagely responses! I have little to offer in return, other than including them in a post at some future date, and, um...how does a lifetime subscription to CROM! sound?