Random Conan Oddness!

Just for fun (and because I'm feeling a little lazy tonight), some amusing pictures from around the interweb...

First up, this Russian Conan movie poster, spotted over at The Conan Completist!

Whoa! Thulsa Doom is one unusual shade of gray...reminds me of how me and my pals looked when we first tried home-brewing beer, losing patience, and then drinking it all waaaaaaaay too soon.

Next up, it's Cousin Ice and his Electronic/Funk/Soul album from way back in '82, Conan the Barbarian, first seen on the conan.com forums!

Judging from the album cover, it doesn't look like Cousin Ice is coming to the rescue any time soon.  I guess those maidens in distress will just have to wait for Uncle Backbone to arrive.

But hey, check out this awesome track list!

A. Conan The Barbarian (Part 1) (9:00)
B. Conan The Barbarian (Part 2) (3:45)

Finally (and also spotted on The Conan Completist), it's Conan on the cover of High Times!

Ok, am I the only one who's got the munchies real bad now?  Oh, and it's probably no coincidence that Ahnuld looks a little squinty-eyed...

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Marvel Marketing Mastery!

Subscribe dammit! Or you just might find yourself chained spread eagle over shark infested waters…

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70's Marvel Magazine Advertisement!

The 70's (well maybe early 80's, I'm not really sure of the actual date of this ad) were a much more innocent time...

And look who's leading the pack...

OK CROM! readers, if you're going to comment on this, please keep it clean, or at the very least, legal!

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Bonan, the Comic!

You’ve witnessed all the rage that is Bonan…The Statue!...The Movie!…so if you missed it, now's the time to feast your eyes upon Bonan, the Comic!

It's Bonan – “The Princess”, from 3D Comics, definitely NSFW (unless you work in the porn industry): HERE.

All I can say is that one of these women is infinitely better looking than those in the Bonan movie, and the other one is, well, probably at least partially responsible for the invention of “doggy-style”.

This post originally aired on the soon to be defunct REH Illustrated.

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Conan/Terminator T-shirt Welcomes You to California!

Mitra's beard! How effin' crazy is this shirt?! This looks more like something that should be painted on the side of a van owned by the worst drummer in the world, who still lives with his parents.

Seriously, I can't begin to express the level of absurdity that radiates from this t-shirt like magic from Thulsa Doom's butt. The whole Conan/Terminator amalgamation is stupid enough, but hell, they might as well have added in Arnold's characters from Predator, Commando, Twins and Jingle All the Way while they were at it. Nice gold sword, too. Did he melt down C-3PO and then hammer him into a barbarian weapon?

Crom...

Oh! Good news! It also comes in white!

If you have just smoked a bunch of meth and are now in the mental state necessary to actually buy this shirt, you can get it HERE.

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Weird Conan Model Kit!

This thing is just plain freaky! I stumbled across it on eBay and the seller claimed this was from Poland or something. Poland? Why Poland? They claim it's meant to be Conan and I believe them. I mean, take a look at those swords and that face is clearly designed to look like Arnold.

Anyway, it looks like the Conan version of those big-headed monster model they used to sell back in the 60's. Of course, I can talk all the smack I want but you all know damn well that I desperately want it!

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Say... is that...?

My homeboy Greg (fellow gamer and bestower of my prized Conan Mego figure, aka "Acorndog") sent me this page from Conan #13, page 2. He noticed something interesting in the upper left-hand panel. Take a look for yourselves...

Here... I'll make it easier on you. Look at the dude running in just above Conan...

Is that.... is that Thor?! It sure as hell looks like him! We may have stumbled on to a little joke from Mr. Barry Windsor Smith!

Good eye, Acorndog!

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Bonan Statue?! Hahahahahaaaa!!!

Crom! reader, simply called "The Barbarian," sent us a link to this lovely item on eBay. It looks like someone took a ceramic Frazetta rip-off statue and then used those plastic binders that people use to keep computer wires from getting out of hand to attach a beat-up McFarlaine warrior chick action figure to it along with an old belt buckle that this person found at a yard sale that someone had made in the late 70's thinking he would get lots of chicks if he tried to tell them his name was "Bonan".

It's going for $40.00 right now. You know what I'd rather spend $40 on rather than this thing? ANYTHING! Also, the description calls it an "Unfinished PornoBJ Statue Project". WHAT?! Good lord...

See it in all it's true horror HERE. Thanks to The Barbarian for the link!

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The Rage of Bonan!

It took me a while to stop laughing enough in order to type out this post after seeing what has got to be hands-down the weirdest side effect of the Conan phenomenon. Apparently, thanks to the surge in Conan's popularity, stemming from the Age of Conan MMORPG, some makers of adult films have jumped on the Hyborian bandwagon and released a movie called The Rage of Bonan!

Hahahahahaaaaa!!! Bonan?!

It basically looks like this ugly dude with a sword (ahem) goes around boinking chicks in the woods. Here are some stills...

And if you want to see two ugly people looking even uglier...

Yeah, baby!

I swear to Crom, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life! If you really, really, really have something against your eyeballs and want to punish them by watching this, legend has it that this movie is all over the torrent sites. Just try not to pee you pants with shame as you find yourself typing "Bonan" into a search field. ;)

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